


Great Gregor's Spy Guy!

by p_o_u_n_c_e_r



Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Etiquette, Nicknames, media-relations, protocol, spy slang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 13:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10765368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/p_o_u_n_c_e_r/pseuds/p_o_u_n_c_e_r
Summary: Could be worse.   Look at "Steady Freddy".





	Great Gregor's Spy Guy!

  
Dear Guy,

I will offer, as you request, my recommendation for, and full assistance deploying, an appropriate sobriquet for media usage. I feel obliged however to once again remind you that the social, cultural, and what you dismiss as the "public relations" aspects of our mission poise dangers, not merely "annoyances", to the Imperium and to you personally.

The public perception that heroic, near mythic, men must hold supremely powerful positions is most certainly not a perception either of us, or our Imperial Master, shares. He is not Dorca the Great; you are neither **Ezar's Familiar** nor **Vorkosigan's Dog**. Your flag rank, and assignment as Chief of Imperial Security, we all had hoped, comprised a step toward normalizing that agency. Few confer upon the Admirals holding office as Chief of Fleet Operations, or Chief of Station, Sergyar, the sort of awed respect or dread too long awarded the Chief of Imperial Security. Few expect that other flag officers will or should enjoy life-long appointments. It was my own hope and expectation that you would, in a very few years, surrender your current office gracefully, to another Admiral or General, and then take on for yourself a different, civil, appointment as, perhaps, Minister, Auditor, or Imperial Counselor. 

Tragically any such reassignment inside the next three years will be commonly interpreted as The Emperor's Displeasure with you over the events of the past week. You understand that the public, in the main, believes the expert testimony, endorsed by the Emperor, that one of your secret projects was poorly overseen. While you remain CIS, that Displeasure is seen as patient and temperate; the danger to the city and our eco-system is commensurately perceived to be negligible; and you remain seen as an effective, if human and imperfect, officer of the Imperium. If, on the other hand, you are reassigned, even, as it would be perceived, _kicked upstairs_ , the Emperor's Displeasure would seem to be elevated. Public concern will be aggravated. The many alternative explanations, rumors run amuck, would gain adherents. These perceptions are dangerous.

I remind you that among the stories rampant at the moment are tales of Cetagandan sabotage; attack by mercenaries in the pay of Komarran Separtist die-hards; bio-experiments by one of Earth's multi-stellar corporations; and a raid by a Jacksonian criminal syndicate. We enjoy an undeserved grace that no creative conspiratist has, so far, combined any or all of these fanciful elements into some Grand Unified Theory of Everything. That we are so spared, for the moment at least, is in part due to the Emperor's Trust so visibly reposed in you. You must, simply must, appear more often in social and in media events, alone and with peer officers, to cement this perception of trust. And these more frequent appearances will be necessary for several years. Retiring from public view will be seen to signal your failure to protect, or a direct responsiblity for endangering, a District long regarded as the most-completely terraformed on our world. This signal is wholly unacceptable.

When the media and public increase their familiarity with you, you will, as you've anticipated, inevitably acquire titles you neither seek nor deserve. Neither of us can completely control what those titles may be. You mentioned a distaste for the  
term, _"spook"_. I assure you that may be among the best of the current contenders. _"Weasel"_ is used inside and outside your agency for your professionals; it could attach to you. _"Cockroach_ ", as applied to your former building, could too easily carry over to you personally. (Though I have heard at least one -- wealthy, trendy, avant-garde -- young person of my circle suggest the NEW Imperial Security building, improving over _"Cockroach Central"_ , be christened the _"Bigger Better Bug-House"._ This, she continues, would make you the _"Chief Bug-Wrangler"_. I have attempted to quash such usage. We must, you see, quickly offer a substitute term if my efforts are to enjoy any hope of success. Certain young people retain little respect for the Service and display a twisted perception of the amusing.) If some titles are too frivolous, others -- snakes, scorpions, and spiders; all candidate substitutes -- unsuitably connote creatures of dread providing little improvement over spook.

I propose a term of art, a bit of jargon within your field, be re-purposed for the lay public. There is an element of embarassment for you, I regret. But the extraordinary attention paid to the form of ruin of your headquarters, combined with the historical associations of the term with your profession, will, I believe, ensure it catches on. I believe it usurps any usage of the other, even less attractive, epithets.

I recommend, and request your permission, to reference you in future and in media, as _"Mole-in-Chief"_.

This, incongruously, would humanize you rather than mythicize you; by appealing to the public's sense of humor rather than by playing on their phobias. Please let me know, quickly, if you concur. If you decline, I will of course assist by using any other term you prefer. But honestly neither I, nor my resident young advisor, can offer much hope of any term that would better harmonize the Emperor's ambitions for your office with your own justified sensitivities regarding your reputation.

Regretfully,

**Author's Note:**

> "Ferret" was already taken.


End file.
